It was a fine morning at KU Bus Park. All of us(2nd year students taking bachelors in information science-BLIS), we there, eyes beaming with eagerness and hearts pondering that the trip will not be called of at the last minute. The beautiful ladies had robbed of their wardrobes all the best wears while the men chose to impress with Cabo Snoop-not so impressive shoes- and a laptop to compliment there fat wallets. It was our first academic trip and everyone was determined to make it through.
I smiled on seeing someone I secretly loved approaching from the other corner. She smiled back lovingly and didn't hesitate to thank her for donning my "favourite colour" and the butterfly top that emphasized her body well. Everyone was in a happy mood and the joyful chatter that went on air in the colourful morning did little to disguise expectant hearts that comrades had. It highlighted the easy mood and good relationship that our class enjoyed.
But one unreasonable fellow was determined to spoil our day with his outrageous remarks. After the lecturer gave us green lights to aboard the bus, we formed a small crowd at the door as we one by one entered the travel machine. Half of this guys were inside when I our dear friend (lets call him Oketch), insisted that no man should sit down before a lady sits. I wanted to protest, but decided to let the fire spread to the next bush by itself. He went on rebuking us whether there were no gentlemen amongst us and clicked his tongue in what i considered to be insincere surprise.
Others looked obvious not to allow such a minor incident spoil there day and as such; one by one alighted, for the ladies to get in first. The lecturer could have managed not to betray her feelings in the first incident but couldn’t hide her frown when our friend demanded his “theory” be followed in distributing lunch allowances. Some chicks, of whom had ended being clustered in one corner- due to the perceived gentleman’s character-‘even clicked.
The rest of the day went down boring and this got me wondering whether gentleman character is a reality in itself. I asked myself endless questions, as to whether it played any beneficial role and how it helped in fostering good relations between the two sexes. I couldn’t agree more when the friend-I secretly loved-complained afterwards about the guy. She felt sure that was not warranted and even went on to claim that this was only a public stance craving- for reasons best known to him. She dismissed it as immature hullabaloo and would rather to stand next to a social dude than get clustered in between two chicks who thought nothing else but western reject they perceived as bestseller novels.
Would it then be possible that women don’t appreciate gentle treatment after all? Or is it that they enjoy a little control from their men?
Though I don’t have the capacity to professionally answer this but nevertheless I hold my principles as regards the same. Not that I don’t believe in gentleman-hood, but I rather consider it to be a personal character that one is bound to initiate. I can bet my last coin that no one will regard you as one by looking down upon other men. You won’t even be one by presenting yourself as a puppet whenever the sacrifice is needed. I don’t believe you’ll get endeared to a woman’s heart for showing unwarranted favouritism. Neither will she love you more by making her an Eating- sex machine simply by denying her, her right to work out things for herself ones in a while.
I tend to look a gentlemen-hood as a self motivated, in-built character that warrants you to act as a man where needs be. There is nothing wrong with pulling chair for your lady companion or even let her walk in front of you. It honours her when she feels you don’t perceive her like a weakling. Or you don’t do conventional things to show gentleman’s character but rather yield’s it from the principles’ ingrained in your heart.
So next time when you try to be a gentleman considers whether you’re hurting other parties.
With God’s love.